There’s a stigma around having a “mom bod,” but why? There’s nothing wrong with pregnancy, or delivery, or breastfeeding. Furthermore, there’s nothing wrong with post natal recovery, whatever that looks like physically and emotionally. Shaming others about things they cannot easily change about themselves really says all you need to know about a person, doesn’t it?
There tends to be an overlap. People critical of the “mom bod” often seem to be entirely clueless about the reality of reproduction. It should not be overlooked that this attitude is misogynistic and that these individuals are namely men.
Rape culture
Shaming women who have birthed children is another feather in the cap of our rape culture. It’s particularly grotesque to shame someone simply because their body endured that experience.
Reducing women to their bodies as a means of determining their value is beyond disgusting.
Women exist because …they do. As men, and animals and plants exist, so too do women.
We need to eradicate the notion that women exist to be ornamental accessories in men’s lives. Pregnancy is one of the most grueling physical experiences possible. How sick is it that when you endure it, you’re expected to pretend it never happened afterwards?
Parenting & parents
Of all the things we remember from our childhood, our parents’ physique rarely comes to mind. We remember the times we laughed with them. The times they played with us, the holidays, the birthdays, the family trips.
The narrative that moms should look like they’ve never birthed children is absurd. It’s important to acknowledge that this is dehumanizing to biological mother. Who have in fact given birth, a completely natural experience.
Additionally, this invalidates lesbian couples. Along with trans men who get pregnant and adoptive mothers. Because it altogether ignores the fact they exist.
Your body is your home
What this does most obviously is minimize the significance of the transformative experience a human body goes through during and after pregnancy. A person created and grew another person, then that person evacuated their body.
There’s no way to live that experience with no physical (and emotional) impact, no matter the degree. You carried and birthed a person … there will be evidence of that having happened.
Who cares? Your body is your home, but your home is not all you are. It’s a culmination of your lived experiences in snapshots. Not your entire life story. Just like your body changed to accommodate a pregnancy, it will change again. Likely many times.
We all redecorate our homes from time to time. Don’t let other people tell you how to design yours. And don’t let other people make you feel shame about the state of your home. It’s a snapshot, not the entire story.
The Next Step
We need to critically assess our judgement of others. Particularly of women in the ways this judgement relate to rape culture. We should closely examine why we have normalized our negativity around the “mom bod.” And why we feel the need to police women’s bodies at all.
Not to mention, you’re not only your physical body. If someone believes that your physical body does define who you are, or your worth, or your value, then that’s saying everything about them and nothing about you.
The bottom line, is that kids need parents who are happy, healthy and present. You’ve got more important things to worry about than the useless opinions of people who don’t matter.
Go raise great kids Mama!⠀
I’d love to know…
What’s some great words of wisdom you’d love to pass on to other moms?
